Monday, August 07, 2006

My first walk with God

My walk as a true Christian began 8 years ago. I had grown up knowing of Jesus, going to church on holidays, weddings and funerals. I always knew there was a heaven. But the event that I am about to share with you changed my whole perspective of how much God loved me.

On August 3rd 1998, I had just given birth to our third and final bouncing baby boy. He was a healthy 7 pounds and had been right on time. He was born in the evening so after a few hours of cuddling our new bundle of joy I did what most mothers of young children did, I sent him off to the nursery to try and get some rest. A nurse woke us a few hours later in an urgent tone telling us to come quickly. My husband and I jolted down the hall to see our baby with a hand held respirator breathing for him. We had been informed that he stopped breathing and they had an ambulance ready to take him to the Children’s Hospital. It all happened so quickly. My husband rode in our car behind the ambulance. I could not be released yet so I had to stay behind. The ambulance stopped 5 times on the 45 mile trip. We learned later that each time they had to resuscitate our little boy.

During my hospital stay, I had friends and family come to congratulate me but it was so bitter sweet as there was no baby in the room with me. I had to wait an extra day to be discharged so they could run tests on me to try and help determine what was wrong with our little one. Upon my release, my husband drove me to the NICU. My 7-pound baby seemed like a giant amongst the 2 and 3 pound babies in incubators fighting for their lives. It was the most difficult site seeing him attached to all the machines with tubes and a respirator. They had no idea what was wrong with him. They had given him a spinal tap to see if it was meningitis. They were waiting for cultures to grow to give some direction. They had given him a drug to paralyze his body to keep him still while on the respirator. I wanted more than anything to hold him but I couldn’t. We had him dedicated that day there in the hospital.
I thank God for all the family and friends who helped us juggle this 3 week hospital stay. We had two boys at home, ages 1-½ and 3, along with our own business to run. I was arranging babysitting twice a day so I could spend some time each morning and afternoon at the hospital. My husband went in the evenings after work. It was on these daily drives that I would pray. Not pray like I had been used to, this was more like just talking with God. I remember the moment I handed this little boy over to the Lord and told him I was okay with whatever the outcome. I felt such a peace fill every inch of my being. After this prayer, I arrived at the hospital and the doctors told me they had the answer! He had a beta-strep bacterial infection in his lungs. Now they knew what to treat him for and things should start improving. They warned me that I would have a handicapped child to care for. I didn’t care as I knew it was all part of God’s plan. He may have been a little slower to reach milestones along the way but as of today he is a healthy, happy child. There are a few quirks to his personality but who’s to say those were even caused by his difficult start in life. Every year we celebrate his birthday, I celebrate my being born again. It was a time that I struggled to get through but I wouldn’t change a single detail.


At 12:26 PM, Blogger Barb said...

Hi Denise! Allow me to be your second official comment. Thank you for the comment you left on my Food for Thought recipe post this morning.

You asked for help getting started and I'd love to help you. But it would be better to converse through email. Why don't you email me at with your specific questions so I know where to start.

It's all a little confusing when you first set up a blog so don't be intimidated. You just have to jump in there head first! I'll wait to hear from you.

By the way, this was a very moving post. I can imagine how frightened you and your husband must have been. Thank goodness your little boy is healthy and thriving now. Sometimes God's chosen method for reopening our eyes can be pretty intense.

At 1:15 PM, Blogger Blessed Beyond Measure said...

Hi Denise, I came to give you just a teeny bit of guidance on blogging and see my sister (Barb) already has. Since she's done some of this already, I'll let her have the first swing at it. My best advice, which she'll likely give you is to make another blog, call it your test blog and play around in it. Better to mess it up than your real one. Great place to learn, and you will make a few messes as you muck through. Thanks for visiting my site, and welcome to the wonderful world of blogging. Great place to be rain or sunshine. xoox

At 2:05 PM, Blogger Brenda said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 2:17 PM, Blogger Brenda said...

Oops! I didn't recognize your blog name on the list at My Quiet Corner.

Welcome to blogdom!

I can't imagine how difficult those 3 weeks in the hospital must have been. Your answered prayer is a testimony to God's faithfulness, and evidence that He is still in the miracle business.

At 5:33 PM, Blogger Keziah said...

What an amazing testimony! I am so glad to hear that your son is better now, but your faithfulness during that difficult time is wonderful too.

Keep blogging!

At 7:39 AM, Blogger Sandy said...

Welcome Denise. I'm fairly new to blogging as well so pop over to my site and say hello.
I firmly believe that we are the mothers of our specific children on purpose, not mothers at random. God had you in mind when he knew this child (your third) was ready to be a part of this world. He knew you were the mom to guide him, love him and care for him. Things were/are going to happen to this child and you are the best mother in the whole world to help with them. I love the fact that He gave our children to us specifically.

At 11:44 AM, Blogger Lauren said...

Wonderful testimony. Realizing God can be trusted and allowing ourselves to trust Him, truly is a turning point. So happy to hear you littlest one is doing well.

At 1:02 PM, Blogger Denise said...

Thanks for all your nice comments. Such great people here in bloggy world!


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